I rarely ever like, like a girl. It just doesn’t happen often. I’m consistently surrounded by attractive girls who are fun to hang out with, but never think of them as dating material. So when a girl shows up and makes my brain go,
I take notice. Like every pre-relationship period there is the usual tip-toeing around asking “hey, do you think blah likes me because I think she’s cute,” and here’s what it makes me look like,
And here is what it makes everyone else do:
So I proceeded like a lamb to the slaughter, knowing full and well that this probably will eventually stop working out, it’s just a matter of time, but hell it’ll be some kind of ride right? Like jumping onto an uncompleted roller coaster because there are a few fun loops before the plummet.
Where my tycoons at?
Time passed by and eventually I just asked her out, and she said yes.
A date was set, tickets to a hockey game were purchased (she wanted to do this, not just being a terrible date planner), and a restaurant was chosen. I want to take this opportunity that dispite any implications I may have made at this point, I found this to be simply a preliminary date. Just testing the water to see if there is anything there one on one.
More time passes, we hang out with friends a lot. Get to know each other kind of. Night of game comes.
We drive out to the restaurant making casual conversation on the way there. A few laughs. Life looking good.
We arrive at the restaurant. Another note: I attempted to pick a restaurant that was somewhere between date and hanging out. Here is what happened.
What I thought I chose:
What I got:
It was very nice. A little too nice. A little too date-y. No turning back now though. I’d made my dimly lit, romantic bed, now I had to lay in it.
It still goes great. Conversation gets a little patchy, but still solid and interesting.
Food comes, we eat, pay and leave. Pretty straight forward so far. I still think I’m doing well.
Side story:
On the way back to a car we walked through what could only be described as an industrial cave dwelling.
Why did we hire the same guy who did every prison ever to do every parking garage ever? Was it a package deal?
Just screams, “No one waiting to jump you here!”
Back on track here. We arrive at the hockey game.
Breakdown by period:
First period:
ME:
Fourteen hundred questions trying to pry open a conversation.
HER:
Yes and no answers only.
Intermission:
I collect myself in the bathroom. Much like what I have to imagine the team is doing in the locker room, I give myself a pep talk. It’s early in the game. It’s not won or lost yet. There is plenty of game left to be played. You’re looking good, just be casual and the conversation will flow naturally. “Trust me,” my head told my paranoia.
2nd Period:
3rd Period:
Time to give up. A conversation can’t be started for the life of me. She is texting the whole time, and I just try to watch what appears to be the most boring game ever- BUT WAIT! The mascot is hitting on some guy’s girlfriend and the guy is getting legit pissed and looks like he wants to hit the—
Icing on the cake.
Announcer: “Couples, look up to the jumbotron to see if you’re on the kiss cam!”
Her: “I need to go to the restroom.”
Me: “Here’s your ticket.”
Game ends. Good team won, hooray. Once outside she explains she wasn’t talkative because she was focused on the game. At this point 98% if me is convinced we just weren’t right for each other, but that lingering 2% still had to know. Which explains why I had to eventually on the way home say,
“I asked you out because I like you. If you don’t feel the same way please just say so now.”
“I’m not looking for blah blah, usual spiel about how I don’t like like you.”
“Totally cool. Friends for ever lulz.”
“Totes McGoats (totally).”
